Colbert Super PAC

Dear Internet,

Hey, it’s Jon again with an update on the Super PAC. Yes, we’re still here, and yes, it’s still legal. I thought that The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC should do a poll in South Carolina to see how our message is getting out. So a few nights ago I cold-called 18 people from the Myrtle Beach phone book. Long story short: Nine weren’t home, five hung up on me, three swore at me, and the last one somehow talked me into investing in a time-share.

I figured it was time to bring in the professionals, so I hired The Marist Poll. Check out what they found in the press release below.

Jon Stewart
President For Life For Now
The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC



FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE IMMEDIATELY

New South Carolina Poll Shows Enthusiasm for Both Stephen Colbert and Answering Questions from Strangers on the Telephone

LANDLINE COUNTRY, USA – A new poll from The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC and Marist College Institute for Public Opinion shows South Carolina voters having a decided interest in undecided potential candidate Stephen Colbert. Potential voters were so electrified by Colbert, 18% gushed they'd be at least "kinda somewhat likely" to vote for him.

Additionally, the poll revealed that four in ten potential voters said they were "not satisfied" with the current presidential candidates. Among those who said they were satisfied with the field, it is unclear how many did so with a heavy, resigned sigh. In a stunning pre-buttal to potential criticism, four in ten respondents said this poll was the most serious one they had ever taken.

"This poll confirms what those of us actively not coordinating with him already know: that Stephen Colbert would be the best choice for the President of the United States of South Carolina," said Jon Stewart, President For Life For Now of the Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC. "He's got everything voters are looking for: bold leadership, private sector experience, and a first name that isn't synonymous with a baseball glove."

The full results of the poll can be found at The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC website and The Marist Poll website. Everything else on the internet can be found on every other website.

The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC, officially known as Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, is an independent, expenditure-only committee that has made great strides in not giggling every time it hears the phrase "taking a poll."

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For Press Inquiries Contact: Alberto Rèalnamè
Communications Director & Online Clicktivist Organizr
The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC
Twitter: @ColbertSuperPAC

Paid for by Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.
www.colbertsuperpac.com