Dear Colbert Super PAC Members,
I wanted you to be the first to see the press release I will soon send out to announce Colbert Super PAC’s new ad. Why? Because Colbert Super PAC Members take priority over the liberal elites in the media. Also, because my secretary left for the evening, and she usually checks these things for typos. Scan it over, and if I don’t hear back from you in the next five minutes, I’m sending it out as-is.
FOR IMMEDIATE AND FULL RELEASE
Colbert Super PAC's Latest Ad Will Leave You Speechless, Then Speak For You
COURTSIDE, USA – Colbert Super PAC has decided to take its talents to a new TV ad about the ongoing NBA contract negotiations. The spot, entitled "Ball Gag," attacks NBA Commissar David Stern's "gag rule," which bars team owners like Mark Cuban from talking to press, friends, or even their own spouses.
The spot, the second in a planned quadrilogy, is made possible by a generous donation from Colbert Super PAC S.H.H., an independent nonprofit which does not reveal its benefactors' names, donation amount, or what (if any) NBA team they own.
"My beloved game of ball-in-hoop is in danger, and David Stern is throwing elbows, kneecapping team owners right in the mouth." said Stephen Colbert, President and MVP for Colbert Super PAC and Colbert Super PAC S.H.H. "You know who else supports Cuban censorship? Fidel Castro. It seems to me that Commissioner Stern needs to either grow a beard, or let owners speak their minds."
Tonight, Colbert will address this flagrant foul and then premiere the ad on his ESPY-anticipating show "The Colbert Report." The spot will then run tomorrow in an ad blitz that spans Texas from Dallas all the way to Fort Worth on WFAA Channel 8's "Good Morning Texas" – where all of Texas turns to find out how their morning will be. Those who wish to view it on a smaller screen with lower quality can find it online here.
Colbert Super PAC, also known as Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, is an independent expenditure-only committee, and Colbert Super PAC S.H.H. is a 501(c)(4) group that protects donor anonymity. Although there have been persistent rumors that these groups have been acting as a front for Mark Cuban, I doubt you could prove it.
For Press Inquiries Contact:
Communications Director, Colbert Super PAC
|Paid for by Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.